Who Am I?

Essenceofshay is what a lot of y’all know me as. Shay is what my friends call me. And, Shana is what my love ones call me.

What do I call myself? A confused, unsettled and lost woman.

Over the past decade I have done everything under the sun to people please. Change my hair, clothing, keep and except folks that should’ve been gone. I have harmed myself, got locked up. Lost deals, supporters and most importantly. MY IDENTITY!! I honestly don’t know who I am, what I want, what I’m suppose to do, what’s my place on this planet. My mistakes in life I feel have damaged me and I am at a place were I don’t know what to do. I am stuck in the quick sand and slowly sinking.

I have meditated, prayed, journaled, solo dates, traveled, therapist but the one thing that had gotten worst and won’t allow anything to stick. If you guessed it, yay! But, my mind! My mindset has changed drastically. Upbeat Shay gone, positive thinking vanished, knowing I can achieve and get whatever I want is a slow disappearing memory. So much has happened and I am mentally exhausted.

My 39th birthday is coming up, it is time I take matters into my own hands and become actually happy with me and finally answer the question Who Am I?

Hope you follow me on this journey.