Why My Relationships Keep Failing
My relationships keep failing, why
They say relationships come and go, and you are meant to learn and take something away from each. But, when the expiration date for most seems to be 2 years your left to ask yourself is it me? After 36 years of being on this planet, I have come to realize that I literally do not have any relationship that has succeeded past the two year mark. I mean I have had a few romantic ones but they should’ve ended year one, week one, minute 1!
I sat down with my therapist and really said, sis I think I am the problem! Collectively with all these people I am the common denominator. At first when mulling over my past and present I felt lost, abandoned and confused! What about me could not sustain a genuine, meaningful relationship after the two year mark.
I know I can be clingy, I over think, I set unattainable expectations, I sometimes lie to seem cool, and the list just kept pouring. Embarrassed but what I wrote down, I realized what the issue really was. My self esteem and love was trash! I based a-lot of my happiness through someone else and I couldn’t possibly fathom the prospect of being alone, that was just not in the cards. So, I begged, convinced, degraded and settled for anything, that really just wasn’t for me!
I know, I know! Shay you promote self love all the time! Yes, I do! And you tell us never to settle, that is true! But, I also am human and deal with self trauma as well!
Listen, the old tale of a child being abandoned by her father, left to figure out how men are truly suppose to treat her on her own. Living life with a piece missing and trying to fulfill in with a revolving door of friends, boyfriends, situationships, sex, weed and self pity!
I’ve learned a-lot of the years:
No one owes me anything
I put to much people in control of my own inner peace and happiness
I’ve come to realize that i am upset with my parents and that has triggered a-lot of past actions
Its ok to go to therapy, shit works!!
Being alone doesn’t mean I failed. Being alone doesn’t mean I am a loser, not being surrounded by multiple people all the time does not mean my life has no purpose.
Love is real, whats meant for you is for you, nothing genuine needs to be forced.
Blaming everyone that has wronged you will not help you grow. Its time to look with and take responsibility for your actions
Life is truly a blessing dont waste it on pleasing others and literally ignoring yourself
I have cried, cursed, blocked, suppressed and so much more just so I wouldn’t be alone and ultimately that took pieces of me away from me every-time, until I couldn’t recognize myself! Learn to love you, hold higher expectations for yourself before looking at that from others!