My Ex Helped Me Lose My Value!
I have just been wondering lately on how much I actually value myself!
What’s the definition of value?
Value: "the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something"
Basically, to know your worth. Knowing the importance of you! To know what I deserve and what is not allowed in my space.
Easier said than done, let me just tell you! I have been struggling for years, trying to understand why things happen. And why certain people stay or come around. It all boils down to asking yourself, WHAT IS YOUR VALUE for SELF? I know what I want, I know what I deserve, I know when something feels wrong, and I know what should stay and go but mentally too weak to follow through.
Example,
Being in a relationship for 3 years. Good times, but there was a control aspect on one end. A verbal, physical, and degrading act on the other end. Why stay you might ask? I stayed because I struggled with my validity of self. I did not want to be alone. Every time I tried breaking up, he would reel me back in with sweet words. Then finally, he decided to break up with me! Ain't that a b****! To add peanuts to the already amazing sundae of this relationship, the day after he broke up with me, the son was in a new relationship.
Too many with stronger values for themselves, and the respect for the self that would never have dealt with any of this, I say to you how sway? How do you do it?
I kept in contact with my ex, I even made myself believe we were friends. If I needed something he was there (sometimes), and when he needed something I was there always. His manipulating game was on 1000, and he had a way of making me feel like everything was my fault. Tickets he created, debts he put me in, monies that are owed, car issues he caused, doesn't matter cause at the end of the day, it's all my FAULT!
But, I kept him around! Basically being played over and over again! We are both single again, he takes trips to see girls, he plays me in public and doesn't help me when I am really financially struggling but always asked me for food, money and whatever else, and when I don't have it to give, I get the attitude and the brush off.
When I complain or say how I feel, it is ignored and made to feel like the importance is weak!
Value: "a person's principle or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life."
The key is to know your VALUE, know what is best, and not great for your own personal happiness. Then make life around that! We all have weak moments but try your best not to allow those moments to change your life negatively, alter the way you feel about yourself, and allows you to be a pushover!