DAY 1: The Move!

October 16th, 2018 a new journey has begun. I have been around someone all my life I have never been alone. I don’t like being alone. This concept of alone time and space was never my jam! But I have taken the journey to not only move out of the comfort zone that is my grams house but go so far away that there is no one that I know in sight. We are of to Texas people.

The week leading to this particular day has been difficult. I have questioned my move and wondered if I could make it or even survive. I am a depressed individual who loves to be around people and hates alone time but this is forcing me to face all my insecurities and demons.

I believe the hardest part for me and some won’t understand is leaving Ralph! Ralph was my love for 3 years. Tho the relationship started off shaky we worked through it but still was a little or a lot unbalanced. After him breaking up with me we still remained in each other’s life and still acting as a crutch or safety blanket for each other. Ralph was my parachute. Without him as I sit in the airport terminal I wonder how I will survive. When I’m hungry who do I call? When I’m sick who will take care of me? When I want a good laugh he isn’t there. Who will eat my food before I get a chance to eat it? So much more I think of and am so sad.

Most wont understand and some will say this is unhealthy and your right! But hey..

I’ve been wanting this for so long and now that it’s here I am very uneasy. Everyone is excited for me and say I’ll do great so cool!

Journey begins

So, as the day proceeds. I have prayed so much and today especially. At the terminal I am waiting for seat assignment. I see my name on the screen with seat 14d. The agents say anyone waiting for seat assignment please come up and let us give you a new boarding pass. As I approach the agent, he scans my boarding pass and nothing. He looks for my name to see if he may have printed it early and nothing. He asked me to step to the side so he can figure something out. I start to think, maybe this is a sign. Am I really suppose to be doing this? He is calling customer service and they aren’t sure what’s going on with my specific reservation and no one else’s. At this point I’m worried, folks are boarding, the line is dwindling, the gate is getting quieter. He looks at me and say don’t worry we will fix this. I will check you out and check you back in. I’m worried that I’ll miss my flight. I think if I miss this flight I’m going back home. That’s it! The nice gentleman walks to the printer and scans a boarding pass. I said thank you sir! Thank you! At this point I am just grateful to be going on the plane don’t care where I’m seated. I look at my boarding pass and it says 4a. I saw ok cool 4 seems to be in the front and it’s a small plane so easy to deboard when the time is up. As I walk into the plane I realize 4a is first class.

Let me tell y’all something. One of my goals was to atleast be in first class once in my life. Check! I have been so anxious about this trip and second guessing everything but I prayed this morning for a new beginning and a fresh start also asked god to take care of me and put in the places and around people he thinks I need to be. He put me in first class. Remember I was initially suppose to be in seat 14d in the back of the plane. To you this is not that big. But to the ones that believe in Devine order, you know these are signs. These are things that happen that let you know where you suppose to be and do! I sat in my seat filled with gratitude and cried! First time in a week my tears were thankful tears. Thanking god and the universe for taking care of me and helping make the process start so easy for me even when I had doubts. I’m still sad but joyous in the same breathe!

Day 1