DAY 3: GOOD ENOUGH FOR A FRIEND BUT NOT A WIFE!
I OFTEN PUT MYSELF IN THESE SITUATIONS WERE I CAN SEE THE END GOAL, BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, THE ONE I SEE IT WITH DOESN’T HAVE TO SAME DESIRE. WHEN MEETING A GUY, YOU VIBE, YOU FLIRT, YOU HANG OUT AND SOME TAKE IT TO SEXY TIME, YOU OFTEN START TO ENVISION THE FUTURE WITH THIS INDIVIDUAL, RIGHT? SO, WHEN YOU THEN REALIZE HE DOESN’T WANT THE SAME THING YOU WANT, IT BECOMES CRUSHING, DAMN NEAR HURTS YOUR FEELINGS.
A FEW THINGS ARE SAID TO ME:
1. RIGHT NOW MY LIFE IS NOT WHERE I WANT IT TO BE AND I DO NOT FEEL THAT I CAN GIVE WHAT I NEED TO IN A RELATIONSHIP. BUT, WE CAN STILL HANG OUT! MEANING “I STILL WANT TO FLIRT, GO OUT AND WHATEVER ELSE. BUT NOT BE EXCLUSIVE WITH YOU".”
2. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT A FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS SITUATION. I MEAN WE BOTH LIKE EACH OTHER, WE SHOULD JUST TAKE IT ONE STEP AT A TIME.
THE FIRST TIME I HEAR IT, I IMMEDIATELY ROLL MY EYES, LIKE HERE WE GO AGAIN. YOU NATURALLY START TO QUESTION YOURSELF AND THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU! THE SITUATION STINGS EVEN MORE WHEN THEY CLAIM THEY DO NOT WANT ANYTHING SERIOUS BUT HAVE BEEN VIBING HEAVY WITH SOMEONE ELSE, AND IT AIN’T YOU!!!!
OVER THE YEARS I HAVE FINALLY COME TO A CONCLUSION THAT IT IS SOMETHING IN ME. SOMETHING I HAVEN’T FULLY ACKNOWLEDGED IS ALLOWING ME TO CONTINUE TO INVITE MEN IN MY LIFE THAT DO NOT SEE IT FOR ME ON A EXCLUSIVE LEVEL. INSECURITIES, UNSURENESS, THE URGE NOT WANTING TO BE ALONE. SOMETHING! TO MY QUEENS OUT THERE, YOU GOTTA FIND IT!
FIND THE REASONS FOR ALWAYS BEING THE RUNNER UP, OR NOT MAKING THE “CUT”. IT DEFINITELY IS HIM HE BUGGING AND BEING HONEST YOU AS WELL! WE AS WOMEN ALLOW OUR IMAGINATION TO TAKE US TO A PLACE THAT DOES NOT EXIST. IT MAKES US TAKE A STEP DEEPER INTO A SITUATION THAT SHOULD’VE BEEN DEADED AT HELLO!
TAKE THE TIME TO LOVE YOU AND LET GO OF THE WEIGHT THAT IS NOT BENEFICIAL TO YOUR GROWTH!
xoxo, Shay.